So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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