Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
