yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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