i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
