well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
