I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
the day after is always just damage control
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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