I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
How does it feel to date your dad?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
