we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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