What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
