if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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