I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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