So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
