Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
