Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
