Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We left the knife in your bed.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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