addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
