There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
