Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
