She is in my trunk
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
