so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
