a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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