if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
