I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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