I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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