Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
