Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
operation have a gay friend backfired
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
