Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize