oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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