you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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