We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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