ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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