if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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