In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
