My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
