We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
pop tarts are not kleenex
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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