Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
