I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
