"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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