Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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