Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We have so much sex to catch up on
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
