we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
