Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
