just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
