i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
