Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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