She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
