Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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