kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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