i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
