Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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