Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
