Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
